I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
