hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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