If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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