The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
