ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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