i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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