Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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