It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
