Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
