Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
