this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
