Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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