I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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