Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
is wine microwaveable?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
