This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
