yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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