I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
