You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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