i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Come see our sink grown plant.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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