his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
