there was a trapeze. enough said
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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