I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
