I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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