Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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