you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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