so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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