its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
