I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
