great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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