what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
