Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
