I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
