Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
