We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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