I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
