you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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