Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
