the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
