Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
