Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
