have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
