Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
