paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
