How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
