I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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