Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
