You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
