What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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