Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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