ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
