Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
